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Your First Step To Getting What You Want

Stairway to sky

There’s something you want. Whether it’s a having slimmer body, getting a new puppy, going on an exotic vacation, or landing a better job, there’s something you want. Right now. Right this minute. You know you want it. So why haven’t you taken your first step to getting what you want?


We all have fears. But very often, our fears get the better of us. Especially our fear of failure. But if your fears are stopping you from getting what you want, you need to overcome your fears.

The best advice I ever got about fear was from psychotherapist Sandra Reich when she was a guest on my podcast. She said, “Walk towards your fears.” It’s simple advice that works. Most of the time, when you walk towards your fears, you’ll often discover that the scary thing you’re worried about isn’t nearly as scary as you thought it would be. When you take first step to getting what you want, you begin to walk towards your fears.


Setting priorities is important. We can’t “do it all.” But sometimes, you say you can’t make X a priority, but when you actually do X, you take the first step to getting what you want. Let’s say I want to have hydrangeas growing in my front lawn. But I say, “Oh, no, tilling the soil and planting the seeds isn’t a priority for me right now. First, I need to do up this pile of laundry.” Okay, but then I’m not going to get what I really want, which is the beauty and fragrance of the hydrangeas, right?

Sometimes, when setting priorities, we need to make some trade-offs for the long game.


In his first law of physics, Newton addressed inertia. We all remember he said that an object that is in motion will stay in motion. We may forget he also said that an object at rest will stay at rest unless a force acts upon it. Although the laws of physics address objects, Newton’s laws of inertia could equally apply to our heads and hands and hearts, too.

What kind of force does it take to get you out of your resting state? What will cure you of your big case of start-itis? Take a minute to ponder that.

Lack of accurate information

Oh, yikes, this is a big one. Not having accurate information has often prevented me from getting what I wanted. Without accurate information, I’ve foregone owning items I might have enjoyed or attending events I wanted to experience. Without accurate information, I’ve hobbled down a bumpy and indirect path instead of sailing the waves of a calm sea. Without accurate information, I’ve lost out on something for months or years before I realized—hey! This thing I want—I could have had it weeks or months or years ago!

Often, people call my office in after the deadline for applications has passed and say they want to sign up for the IBCLC exam. We say, “Oh, you just missed the deadline, it was a couple of weeks ago.” They have no idea they must submit their application by the spring deadline if they want to sit for the IBCLC exam in the fall. So they are shut out, and end up not taking the exam until the next cycle, and are then waiting for their results. Oops! They’ve just lost nearly one whole year before they can become an IBCLC. How, you might ask, can you avoid any or all of this?

The first step to getting what you want

Whatever it is that you want, figure out what’s stopping you. Then, meet it head on! Whether it’s skydiving or getting your master’s degree or going to see the world’s biggest ball of twine—get moving, TODAY! And yes, if all you need to qualify for the IBCLC exam is your 95 hours, we have an online course that you can still do. In a little over 2-3 hours an evening, you can overcome start-itis and knock this thing out!

What’s your first step to getting what you want really want?

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  1. Roberta

    This is a very good article. It helped me to do some “soul searching.” I actually felt “a little sting” when I read the “Lack of accurate information” section because I’ve had that painful experience.

    • Marie Biancuzzo

      Oh Roberta, I wish I had a nickel for every time I’ve faced the “lack of information” problem. Often, it’s lack of information from some person or entity that is presumed to know the right answer. However, remember, you can also have misinformation from your own brain! (Witness the people who think they are too old to get their IBCLC certification…no one is telling them that, they just think that!) So I’d encourage you to continue your soul-searching. We can never do too much soul-searching!

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